Transcription, lines, lyrics and text version of the famous meme video – Tolkien naming his characters. Full script:
By Jove, I should rather need a name for a villainous fellow who is not to be trusted.
hits pipe
Yes, Grim Wormtongue, splendid.
Hmm, an omnious name for macabre demons of evil…
What did those unsavoury Huns call themselves again?
…
“Nazi ghouls”, perfect.
Confound it, I’m leafing trough all these mythological texts but I can’t come up with a suitable name for Sauron’s realm…
Sir, your crumpets are getting cold.
Blast it, let’s just call it Murder, shall we?
Hmm, I seem to be short of a surname…
pats his pockets for matches
Let’s think: what are we looking at?
lights pipe
A family of hobbits who are proud of their hairy feet…
puffs absentmindedly for a moment
Well bless my soul, I have it!
Phew!
Thought for a moment there the old wellspring of inspiration had dried up!
Mount…
…
Hmm.
Mount Doom, yes quite.
Hmm, I must name this treacherous wooded area.
I have not the faintest idea… I am truly in a pickle this time.
It is a truly a mirky area I have thought up.
Aha! I have it! Quite ingenious if I may say so myself.
Character has father issues and his brother wants to borrow the ring.
…
Faramir and Boromir.
You’ll never guess what I called the bearded tree fellow.
Hmmm… now… what to call this spider?
Oh dear, mind’s a complete blank.
Even lying with my back to this trusty ash tree isn’t doing the trick.
What’s an old word for spider.
Ah yes, “lob”.
Hmmm… bit short.
Ow.
Blast it, now my leg’s gone to sleep.
A villainous female spider…
Think, Jonh Renald!
Ah! I have it.
Rather good if I say so myself.
Still can’t get up though.
Hm, I have named the great evil Sauron.
And his follower is much like him, but closer to a man.
What to call him?
Sir, have you heard the news? They say the Spanish rebels suffered a defeat near the city of Bilbao.
Bilbao you say?
Hey, Tolkien, I bought a new ford car, what do you think?
Ford, hmmmm.
You can also check Brother, may I have some oats from the same creator.
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